NIGHTMARE NETWORKING - BLEEDING EARS ALERT

The business world is a real mix of people.

And nowhere is this more evident than at networking events. All types of business folk come to these gatherings for a fair number of reasons but meeting new people, making contacts, possibly forming relationships and winning business further down the line would be near the top of the list for most people.

One of my earliest network nightmares was at an evening event, a sit-down meal with speakers, who turned out to be informative and helpful. That’s more than could be said for the chap sitting on my right-hand side whose company supplied drain cleaning products. On and on he went about this solution and that detergent, the types of jobs his firm had undertaken, the problems encountered, the clients who caused him grief. “Excuse me, I’m eating,” I should have said. If someone could have magically flushed him away along with his pile of leaflets and their pie charts I would have been grateful.

On another occasion, I got stuck with the droner – rattling on interminably about his company after thrusting his business card down my throat within seconds of meeting me. Then, when someone else joined us, he did the same again – a double dose of boredom. At least I knew he wasn’t making me a special case.

Another event, another shudder. A woman asked me about my line of work. I started to talk but she, after examining my lapel badge, cut me off by saying that PR was a waste of time, no way would she ever, ever speak to the media because one newspaper had misquoted one of her friends and got her name wrong. Fair enough. Despite that, I asked what she did (a professional expert on everything, seemingly) and, 25 minutes later, my ears were bleeding. Taxi!

On the other hand, I’ve met some people who are excellent at network events as they share a conversation and are quick to introduce you to others they know. Heather Alexander at Clearsight Consulting definitely comes into this category - http://www.clearsight-consulting.com/

But, you live and learn and nowadays my experience at networking events is different. I go with a relaxed attitude, accepting that people are there for a shared purpose and that works for me.

I’ve also learned from reading generous online tips provided by the likes of Jackie Cameron of Cameron Consulting whose thoughts actually prompted this post.

http://www.facebook.com/Speakupforyourself

On the Glasgow Business Network group page on LinkedIn there’s a harder-hitting discussion under way, equally interesting and relevant. http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Why-do-you-network-2226692.S.68244307?qid=d9166a43-54bd-4f4b-88f7-1cdd0098ec9c&trk=group_most_popular-0-b-ttl&goback=.gmp_2226692

No networking event or business gathering is the same for two people. How could it be? I like meeting new people and I find the follow-up contact, such as the “good to meet you” email, often brings about another 1-2-1 meeting and that can been good for business. Networking does not provide instant solutions nor immediate new business in my book.

You will, I hope, note that this post hasn’t been written po-faced. So if we meet at an event, I promise I won’t thrust a business card at you instantly, I won’t bore you with a lengthy diatribe about what I do and how wonderful I am at doing it. Instead, it would be good to have a chat and see what happens. OK?

A BIZARRE BUSINESS - THIS WEEK I'LL BE AN ASTRONAUT

I have encountered many different things since setting up in business in the late 90s – the good, the bad, the hugely gratifying and the downright impossible.

The praise of people is always welcome and heartening. Complaints, justified or otherwise, have to be dealt with. The demands need to be put in context and the expectations matched to reality. I like the mix and doing my best for clients who invest so much in me.

I’ve learned that keeping a level head is essential. Listening to sage advice is very important. I believe in good manners in business (as this blog has mentioned before) at all times and dealing with people respectfully.

And in the main I have been fortunate with clients from the public and private sectors who have been a pleasure to work with, to socialise with.

However, I’ve just experienced a business world first. Without naming any names, let me explain. But I do think this bizarre.

At two meetings at the tail end of last year, I was invited to discuss PR support activity with a company for a series of events it was planning. Before the second, I submitted a detailed proposal that included costs. The company said it was pleased with the advice I had given, the suggestions offered and that the proposal was “excellent” and suited in every way. A contract was prepared but not signed as no starting date had been finalised.

Then the first proposed event was postponed so any work I had to do was, rightly, delayed and the company said it would be “in touch.” Busy with other clients, I did not think this was unduly remarkable.

But, when I checked the date for the second planned event on the original list I had been given, it was obvious a fair chunk of activity was quickly required to ensure the strategy agreed could be carried out to the client’s advantage.

I contacted the company several times and heard nothing in return. I didn’t want to badger them and as the day of the proposed second event was getting closer and closer, I had increasing concerns that any worthwhile PR support activity could be achieved.

Then out of the blue, a new “PR” company announced its arrival via a social media platform.

One of its listed clients, its only client actually, was the company I’d been speaking with – and that’s because those behind the new “PR” outfit were those in the company I’d been talking to.

I did smile even though this was a surprise development, bizarre even. I wasn’t aware those involved with the company who had sought my assistance had any expertise in PR: that’s why I was being hired, I reckoned. Silly me.

If those involved – and on their website they rattle on about PR/Marketing but focus their words on marketing mainly – believe they can undertake an efficient and effective PR campaign for their business and their events, then good luck to them. How they can help meet the PR needs of any other client they manage to secure must be open to question.

What’s happened is a bit like me saying: “This week I’m going to become a photographer, a web designer, or an accountant, no wait, an astronaut.” If I did, nobody in their right mind would hire me, would they?

Of course, there’s been no communication from the company, even out of courtesy, to say we won’t be working together. An associate suggested I should write and ask them if my services are definitely no longer required, just to be awkward. But I haven’t and, frankly, don’t want to waste any more time on them.

I would never wish to work for an outfit so blatantly – it would appear – at odds with my own standards and straightforward approach.

PERFECT PITCH - PLAIN SPEAKING

“I don’t know how to write, but I can tell you fluently what I do, what my product does.

“My spelling is atrocious. My grammar equally poor, but I am a confident and competent speaker who can communicate most effectively. Writing for me is a chore, although I have a sound technological brain.

“I have an eye for a solid business idea, one that’s interested some large companies already. I haven’t got a clue how to engage effectively with consumers, business or the public at large.

“I really need someone who can make my product, my idea visible to business, consumers and the media at large, both specialist and general outlets.

“I have no idea how costly, problematic, feasible this might be – so do you think you can work with me and help me by doing what you clearly have done, successfully, for a range of clients to date with a PR campaign?

“I think this is an important way forward for my company.”

I have paraphrased this hour-long conversation with a prospective client, obviously. I was so gratified by his beguiling approach on behalf of his company and his associates. Here was someone, needing PR support and positive media attention while admitting with a smile he knew little or nothing about how to pursue it. A company in his network circle had recommended that he chat with me. I was delighted to do so.

This isn’t a blog about me and my company and what it does, or is capable of doing. Nor a criticism of previous pitches I’ve attended. It is about the refreshing attitude of this company MD for whom a proposal is ready. It may come to nothing.

However, the big point, for me, is that this man was candid, said his expertise lay elsewhere and he wanted to buy in a specific form of help. He issued no demands and listened closely to what I had to say, the suggestions I put forward, the involvement he could expect from my company. I answered his questions openly and in detail.

It was a great discussion, which led on to a chat about many different subjects. Nothing has been decided. I have submitted a proposal. It was just a hugely refreshing way to talk about working together – possibly.

CONSIDERING CONSIDERATION

Recently I blogged about good manners and my view that they matter in business. The feedback was quite astonishing.

Around a hundred people from all over the world including India, the USA, Greece, Australia, Europe, England and Scotland responded when I posted my thoughts on the LinkedIn website http://www.linkedin.com

Most agreed that being polite, taking the trouble to respond to emails or voicemails, acknowledging receipt of important documents such as proposals was not difficult and, indeed, was an important element of conducting business seriously in a well-mannered, courteous way.

It was an issue that even made it in to the pages of a national Sunday http://scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com/business/Michelle-Rodger-Manners-maketh-man.6168474.jp newspaper, where I was quoted. The reaction from that was encouraging as well.

It’s clear that good manners to many people do count for a lot, an awful lot. Just take a look at Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn where individuals gleefully reply and respond, suggest and refer, help and inform. In the main, these sites highlight first-class, heart-warming Net-iquette.

So I’d like now to see this extended into a further business arena – the networking event. And you can blame (only kidding) Cordelia Ditton of http://www.voicebusinesstraining.co.uk as she encouraged this rant.

Her latest blog http://talkaboutspeaking.com/networking-tip-how-to-move-on-without-feeling-you-are-giving-offence is very useful on how to extricate yourself from being stuck in one spot at a networking event. For me, however, that’s not been a real problem but, nevertheless I found reading Dilly’s blog useful, as always. It’s one of the best blogs on my radar.

My biggest bugbear at networking events comes when I am happily engaged and talking with one or more people, listening, exchanging views and offering suggestions to one another.

Then someone else barges in flourishing a business card before launching into the dire “all about me” spiel. Very annoying, hugely boring. I would never dream of being so discourteous. Networking is about meeting different people and, to my mind, the listening part is crucial. I don’t expect anyone wants to hear about PR in detail, the services my company offers or any other info in glorious Technicolour. They prefer, as I do, a brief overall summary that encourages questions or, even better, presents an opportunity for a follow-up, one-to-one conversation at a future date.

But the individual, who breezes into conversations and focuses on his or her business, what he or she can do for you and so on, doesn’t talk with anyone – he or she talks at you. He/she seems to think I, and others in the gathering, need to know in gruesome, long-winded detail all about him or her, what they do and why they are so damn good at it. I don’t. Sorry. To me, such people appear extremely desperate for attention, new business, who knows? It’s easy to walk away from them.

This has happened to me over the years. Usually, I escape with the words “I’ll leave you to it” or “I think we’ve chatted before” – not, perhaps, very profound or well considered or worth copying. But it has worked for me.

Such gatherings are a chance for low-key business conversations, a time to meet others in a range of businesses, to fit faces to names of companies I’ve heard about, to build possible relationships. And at some events, I have met people I have come to admire, like and even to do business with.

Rant over.

GOOD MANNERS MATTER

Good manners have always been important to me so I hope you don’t mind me sharing that. No, well, I thank you (see what I mean?)

I abhor bad manners, lack of courtesy and those who are less than polite – whether it’s keeping a department store door open for someone who breezes past without so much as a “thanks” to children who don’t seem to be able to master simple phrases such as “please” and “thank you.”

This brings me to politeness and manners in business – they do matter, and I like to think I have them. They are vital. But, in the opening two months of this year, I’m detecting a sad slide, however, despite modern communications available to all.

Here are two examples: at the start of December I undertook a copywriting job for a publishing company. One of the businesses I had to contact during the project indicated, in our conversations, that it was interested in PR support and media relations and asked if I could make follow-up contact in January, which I duly did, as I promised I would.

When I got in touch via email, as requested, I asked the gentleman I had interviewed previously if he would like to consider a meeting to discuss his company’s needs for possible PR, generally. No response. No simple acknowledgement was forthcoming so after seven days, extremely politely, I emailed again. Several weeks later, I have heard nothing.

Yes, of course, I could telephone but I was specifically asked not to do so and to use email instead as it was “more convenient” given the nature of the business. Not convenient enough, it would appear, to say “no thanks” or “we’ve gone off the idea or “we’re waiting to sort out budgets” – an acknowledgement or a knock-back, it wouldn’t matter. Some form of feedback was all I sought.

In another case, I was invited to visit a company to discuss PR and media relations. At the end of a very positive meeting, I suggested – and its company representatives agreed – that I should submit an outline strategy, flesh out some of the matters we had discussed and submit costings based on a range of commitment scenarios.

I emailed them to say I had enjoyed the discussions, meeting them and so on – as I usually do after a first meeting - and attached a summarised proposal. Four weeks on there has been no feedback, no acknowledgement that they have even received my document. Phone-call follow-ups have yielded the usual trite “we’ll pass on your message” or “so-and-so has been very busy” to “leave your mobile number” etc. Pathetic.

I’ve not been seeking decisions, agreements or confirmed deals. I only want to know that my communication, which I have taken the time to prepare, refine and finalise, has actually been seen by someone I was dealing directly with.

Thankfully, and to end on a positive note, good manners do exist. This week I met with a charming MD with a view to creating website text for his company. Again, I was asked about PR support, media relations, social media opportunities and more. When I was on the train home, up popped a message on my Blackberry to say - and he beat me to it - that he had found the meeting extremely instructive and interesting and could I, in the first instance, give him a costing for the copywriting work the following day.

This I did – and he replied one hour later to say go-ahead. Now that was efficient and business-like, simple good manners, neither difficult nor challenging. Not all decisions, obviously, can be made instantly. But, if I am spending time plus effort to communicate and keep potential clients informed, the least I expect is the same level of courtesy. And with email, text or whatever, it’s never been easier.

To refuse to respond, answer, or acknowledge is arrogant, ignorant and totally unacceptable behaviour in my book. To repeat: business manners do matter.

That feels better: please forgive the rant. I’m sure I’m not alone, am I?

TO WEAR A TIE – OR (K)NOT?

I have a business problem at the moment. Thankfully, it’s not causing sleepless nights, but it lingers nonetheless.

I’m talking about dress codes, or lack of them, if you like - and not for shopping at Tesco, barefoot or in nightwear, I hasten to add.

No. For most of my working life a simple formula existed: work = wearing a suit and a tie, or trousers and a jacket and a tie. No wriggle room.

From my earliest days as a young hack, it was drummed into me to wear a shirt and tie for all eventualities. I did so until I left a newspaper editorial floor for the final time back in 1996 and I followed that advice faithfully as I started out in my own PR business thereafter. I never thought twice about it; it was as natural as putting on your socks or cleaning your teeth at bedtime.

But the sartorial world in business terms, and I’m concentrating on men as I am one, has undergone a massive shake up. Ties are now optional and that’s been confusing me for a while.

Ties are still OK, open neck shirts are not frowned upon, either, these days. Think Alan Sugar (tie) or Richard Branson (no tie.) Some guys happily toddle off to work in jeans and polo shirts and, I suppose, if you work indoors, don’t meet anyone other than your colleagues, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Dressing appropriately for a particular professional, business environment is sensible. Some might say that it adds a touch of gravitas. Newsreaders like Jon Snow look good in ties and I reckon if he opted for an open neck shirt in the TV studio, it might just look out of place. So-called football TV pundits can leave the ties at home alongside any original thoughts, insights or points of view.

That said, I think that how people dress is entirely a matter for them, and I’m not one to judge given my uncertainly in this matter. For example, the Top Gear team on BBC TV recently got a dressing down in a survey for being less than Top Men when it came to their on-air threads. Jumping in and out of souped-up toys hardly calls for a neat, dark blue or black, all-wool two-piece, from Savile Row, or Ralph Slaters, which is my emporium of choice, does it?

So:

Do I wear a tie at all times on business, as I was brainwashed to do?

Do I never wear one, regardless of the business appointments?

Or do I wear one selectively? That is: a “yes” when meeting lawyers who are clients, for example, but, a hey man, “no” when dealing with music festival promoters and organisers or other creative/artistic types? I don’t imagine the legal eagles would really mind, either.

My general rule of thumb is, therefore, this. If I am not sure, I wear a tie – and I prefer a white shirt with a self-coloured one in the main, not being a fan of patterned or striped ties. After all, as I said once jokingly in an interview with a business newspaper: “I’ve never been refused entry anywhere for wearing a tie.” I can always remove it if I feel I’m over-dressed in comparison to those I’m meeting for the first time.

This happened when I went to see potential clients in London a few years back during a heat wave. In my suit, shirt and tie I was uncomfortably hot – those greeting me at their Tower Bridge offices looked as if they were heading for a beach barbeque with not a pair of trousers in sight, only garish shorts.

Before the pitch began, my tie was off, so was my jacket with great relief – and I got the contract, which actually involved meeting lots of people wearing ties, so I wore one, too.

This week, in a very unscientific poll conducted on a Glasgow-Edinburgh train, I noted that about half the chaps in suits were wearing ties, the other half, including myself, were not. Very inconclusive.

But, I’m bending to the view that the tie-wearers did look sharper, keener and smarter, even though some of the tie and shirt combos were of the “dress in the dark” variety.

As I don’t have a mirror that talks back, I asked my darling wife, Maggie her opinion. After a moment’s consideration she said I looked smart and dashing with or without a tie, a pleasing compliment I must say.

So, with apologies, this is a blog with no conclusion, or answer to my initial question. It’s personal, isn’t it? Any comments would be, as always, most welcome.